Sunday 28 November 2010

Friday 13 August 2010

What is the difference between an Internet marketer who takes a lot of holidays and a travel blogger?

Gadling had a post this week about snobby travel bloggers. It provoked a heated debate. I had to hold back from joining in for fear of offending someone I shouldn't.

So I'll just rant about it publicly right here. Because that makes far more sense.

The trend of the travel blogger en masse is definitely something to be addressed.

What is going on with the emergence of all these travel-pious, humourless, copycat travel blogs? Travel writing whose existence, beyond a bit of bragging and over optimisation within social media, is based around creation of webpages for the creation of ad revenue, for the creation of more trips for the creation of more ordinary blog posts for the creation of more ad revenue for the creation of more trips for the creation of more ordinary blog posts?

This is the circle of life for about 50 major travel blogs:





I don't blame anyone for making a nice living from this and unequivocal hats off to the ones who are open and honest about it. But many aren't. Business is business, I get that, if it works for them great. But so many of them come across as being so bloody independent from industry and impartial when in fact they pump out any old crap just to generate extra pages for ad revenue streams. Not to mention the fact that half of them are being tipped on the side by industry or the fact that I suspect most of them don't have the first clue about the type of information that is helpful to an average traveller. With that in mind, the smug and falsely impartial tone pisses me off. I think you'd typically find a better standard of information from a blog which is overtly belonging to a private enterprise, (like we see in SEO for example).

In travel I see a barrage of self-centred writing, (yes, I do see the hypocrisy of that statement given this is my self-serving blog, but let's ignore that), I see incestuous networks of sites and the masquerade of authoritative travel knowledge. They also spam the twitter streams to high heaven. Nothing for hours and then 6 fecking inane tweets in a row. I'd wager that for many (by no means all) this authority (read: traffic and ad revenue) is driven by a search long tail, and not so much to do with a site based on depth of travel experience, industry knowledge, travel consumer insight, quality writing or usefulness of content pumped out. Which again, is totally okay and we all know that, right?

We know the difference between internet marketers who take lots of holidays and useful sources on travel... right?

I don't suggest that the two things are mutually exclusive, but if you're fortunate enough to travel and want to publish online, I'm going to stick my neck out and say I want to see stuff that is:

1. entertaining, or

2. gives functional, genuinely useful advice, or

3. had an honest voice, but definitely does not

4. warble along randomly about what everyone else is missing out on in wherever you are whilst saying nothing meaningful but acting like you know it all when you don't because if you did you say something much more helpful and interesting than this, a travel diary isn't all that great for someone wanting to get started visiting that place and it isn't really an authority source on travel either you know.

There are many exceptions to the type of travel site I'm complaining about. Yet the fact that so there have been so many strong reactions in the debate started by Mike Barish at Gadling suggests there must be others who, over the past year or so, have started to feel a similar distaste for the unfounded know-it-all tone and smugness of some emerging travel bloggers.

Sunday 2 May 2010

Screw you Facebastard

You know what my facebook account feels like?

It feels like having a cute kid who you loved so very much you bought it everything it wanted and spoiled it rotten. Now that kid is an ungrateful little bitch teenager who just nicked all the money from your purse and has fucked off to Topshop to buy laddered tights and cider.


This started with a simple attempt to change profile information. I logged in, of all irony,to update it with my twitter ID (@ZtotheC). So that I could be identified to a network I actually use. On navigating to profile settings facebook asked, nay told me that all those words I lovingly crafted to describe my interests and likes must now link to facebook pages. I say, “thanks, but no, I don’t want to link to those pages. They are crap, have nothing on and most of them don’t make sense”. Facebastard say, “you have no choice in this underling, link to those pages from your profile or we won’t let you have any profile information at all, including the basic things like where you went to school. And, by the way, your face on those shit pages that we are going to make you link to is ours now, it is public and will show up not only in search engine results pages and facebook searches, but on 66 billion 3rd party websites. So shut your crybaby ass, because if you have a profile, your photo and name belong to us to make use of as we see fit and there is nothing you can do about it. And don’t think you can get clever by choosing to have all profile details set to private and selecting not to show up in searches, because that won’t work, you’re still going to show up on all those 3rd party sites and in serps. You’re our bitch now.”

And I said, “Fuck you Facebastard.”

And that, is what really happened.

A person over at Cre8pc Blog does a far nicer job of explaining this change to the way facebook works, and with pictures too.

But go on, I dare you, try and update your profile information.

Jeeezus. I don’t mean to be all pious about privacy. It doesn’t escape me that there are 858 photos of me willingly shared among a mere 342 friends. But I look at website user data all. day. long. And my spidey senses tell me there something to be wary of in this update. I'm probably in the minority for overreacting and feeling this way. I am also likely a raving paranoid acting in full knowledge of all the grey hat uses I'll put this newly shared data to during the day job. But above all, I feel like I’m being backed into a corner BY A FUCKING WEBSITE. Facebastard has all my photos and is an automatic directory of email addresses for pretty much everyone I’ve ever known. That stuff is meaningful and isn’t something I can easily come by elsewhere. If I want that stuff preserved, I have to gamble my identity.


My spoilt bitch teenager has now nicked the car keys and is threatening to run me over with my own rusty Peugot 106 unless I give her more money for cider.


Should you be someone who is more concerned about privacy than I am, (I am simply bloody minded about my own data), then this, this, this and this may bother you. This may just make you laugh.

I’ll continue my slow departure from facebastard by moving my photos, email addresses, and finally catching up with people I’ve been wanting to talk to for ages but haven’t quite managed to (because facebastard is good at helping me take everyone for granted), and then I’ll be deactivating my account.

When Zuckerberg stops being a megalomaniacal git and gives me back control of my description of me I’ll come back. But I doubt he'll want me. He probably won't even notice I've gone. He may also have to do some quality control in the future. Call me a prude, but look beyond the updates of your friends and you’ll see that facebook is now an un-policed cesspool of uselessness. Much like most of the internet c.1999.

Remember when Facebook was joyous, entertaining turds of wisdom in your stream? It was awesome. And now it is a mind-numbing chore of a bastard trading your data for power, and telling your future boss that you 'liked' the FHM article about sodomy and that you listened to Justin Beiber last night, whether you like it or not. And if I was him, I'd judge you for that.

The bitch teenager is now entirely cider dependent so I've sold loaned her to the local pimp on a commission basis and am using the money to fund a new snowboard


SCREW YOU FACEBASTARD.

The end.

15 Albums you say? Why the hell not...

I think there is meant to be some insightful copy/paste gumph up here about this being a list of Your Lifechanging 15 Albums. The album that made you not jump, the one over which you had your first saucy romp, and the one which forced you to just put the friggin gun down dude...

However, insightful instructions elude me, so here comes, simply, a list of some 15 of the albums I have loved most.

1. Pulp - Different Class

When you're a teen, and plonked between Oasis and Blur, Pulp was the clear winner. Jarvis is the best. It was tough to choose between Different Class and his solo album.

2. Fiona Apple - When the Pawn...

Twisted, angry, eating disordered, cynical druggy chick rants, blames it all on her boyfriends and plonks it out on the piano. Hell yeah.

3. The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses

To this day, friggin' unbeatable. This one is coming to the desert island with me.

4. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

Sigh. Dragged to the sweet lovely heights of the Beardyman's gibberish falsettos, (I swear I can only comprehend about 2% of all the lyrics on this album), then having the rug whipped out from underneath me and crashing into heartcrunching loneliness. When it comes to music, I guess nothing makes me happier than depression. This was my horrifically bittersweet Boston departure album.

5. Whitney Houston - Whitney

My first 'proper' tape. (Which means one I didn't tape off the Top 40 radio show on a sunday afternoon). I still know all the lyrics...

6. PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea

So friggin' cool. Love everything about this album. I want to play bass and wear mini-skirts.

7. Carole King - Tapestry

My love of piano driven everything and feisty female songwriters everything started here, decades before I even realised it.

8. I Am Kloot - Natural History

John Bramwell is a miserable northern bastard and I love him. One of the most underrated British bands of the past decade. Fact. This album made me long for drizzly England while I baked to death under the Spanish sun.

9. Antony and the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now

Moved me to tears.

10. Roisin Murphy - Ruby Blue

Bleeps and clicks in exactly the way bleeps and clicks should be used. Weird and perfect.

11. Ben Folds Five - Whatever and Amen

Ahhh... more piano punching, clever lyricist amazingness.

12. The Mountain Goats - The Sunset Tree

Makes you glad to be alive. And glad you didn't grow up in John Darnielle's house.

13. Guillemots - Through the Windowpane

My ex-roommate's band.

14. Arcade Fire - Funeral

:-o

15. Bring It On - Gomez

Tijuana lady is beauuuuutiful. Whippin' Picadilly is indiebouncetastic. Love is Better than a Warm Trombone is [insert an appropriate adjective here if you can find one]. Rie's wagon is just plain trippy. A F%^KING COOL ALBUM. Ben Ottewell and his voice were also responsible for my subsequent adoration of all boys dorky. It pains me that they are currently touring as support for Dave Matthews band. This was also The Album which kicked off my leaving home for the first time, moving to exotic shores (if you can call Northern Brittany exotic), and having the year of a lifetime. This was the album that was with me through THE lifechanging times and has never left me since.

Saturday 10 April 2010

Is it me, or is Thailand a bit grubby?






"Its beautiful!" they said. "Like paradise" they said. "Watch out for ladyboys" is also something they said. So, off to Thailand I trotted with an open mind. I had a wonderful time and was repeatedly swept off my feet by how kind, friendly, and helpful everyone who didn't drive a tuqtuq was towards us.

However, with the exception of the wonderful service, if I'm truthful, I found myself frequently wondering what all the fuss was about.

The beaches, jungle, rock formations are all quite nice, but if you're looking for breathtaking tropical paradise you might be disappointed.

I can certainly see the appeal of the safe, wallet-friendly, accessible packet of land that is Thailand. And it is entirely likely that I am spoiled by Cape Town. I'm also sure that Thailand was a very different place 15 years ago than it is now. But the fact there is still a constant stream of people returning claiming it to be THE most beautiful place ever bemuses me. Garbage blights every populated part from the smallest villages to the towns. Even the supposed unspoilt 'paradise' islands have bays polluted by the crap pumped out by 100s of passing long boats, turning the water grey and soupy, plastic debris washes up on the beaches every morning and is cleaned by hand. Now, I actually don't consider any of these things deal breakers, I'm pretty realistic about the ramifications of so many people clamouring to visit one rapidly developing corner of the planet at the same time.



However what we haven't mentioned is the flattery and sex trade that Thailand boasts.
A distinctly rough looking paradise where men are made to feel like kings gets regaled as the most wonderful place in the world. Coincidence? Possibly. Elephant in the Thai Tourist Board room? Definitely.

Sunday 8 March 2009

Foxtrot Oscar

"Show me someone who's genuinely interested in glamour and I'll ask you why you've introduced me to your twat of a friend."

After reading that, think I may have fallen a little in Love with David Mitchell. Despite appearances, he is quite a badass. This was one of the objections he raised in last weekend's Observer column. He was sick and tired of the annual pomp, sensationalism and high profile nonsense which surrounds the Oscars. And he has a point. The cult surrounding the ceremony is so waaaaay out of proportion to its significance.

Even the panel of judges who aren't incredible authorities on film. Honestly - did you know that 14 year old Dakota Fanning is a member of the guild? I'm not saying that the majority of guild members aren't terribly talented. But I do feel that they represent a very narrow set of perspectives on film, and the ingredients which produce a good film.

I mean, what is a good film? A film that makes you feel so upset you cry, a film that tells you about a world and events you knew nothing about? Yes. Maybe. Probably. But haven't we seen all those things MANY MANY MANY times before? If this is what we're after lets just run a cocktail of Schindler's list, titanic, and Steel Magnolias from now until eternity.

It isn't exactly breaking down the boundaries.

Even the 'thoughtful' one-sided representation of the world of film and does not deserve to be taken as seriously as it is. Frankly, I feel like all it takes to get considered for a best motion picture award is a bit of budget, take on a tricky historical topic but deliver it only through the channel of a heart-rending love story to make it more palatable to the masses who have already been brainwashed by decades of Oscarism teaching them that a good film has a goodie, a baddie and a moral. It's patronising crap. And makes it so so terribly difficult for all those interesting film makers out there. The oscars are just SO uninteresting.

I've never really cared or understood the Oscars and always attributed this to the fact that I'm not much of a film fiend. But that is often because I feel like most films are crap. They really are. Perhaps I was spoiled by poncy (as some might say) foreign language movies in formative years French and Spanish cinema studies at uni. Nonetheless, spending a tenner to go to the cinema to watch a hollywood film where it is entirely clear within the first 20 minutes who the baddie is, who you must hate, who you must like, what the moral of the story is going to be... harumph.

I'd rather spend the money on a new top. Which, ironically lumps me into David Mitchell's 'twat of a friend' category.